(Note: While I am posting this on Saturday, techinically most of it was written on Friday. It's just that facebook was down so I couldn't get one of the links I needed.)
(My aunt posted this on facebook today, and I just love it.)
In a land of perpetual gray, sunshine looks quite alien. There isn't even any white snow to offset the varying shades of gray: gray-yellow grass, bare gray trees, heavy gray clouds.
Yesterday on routes, I had settled in for anther gray day. The upside was learning to deliver in yet another new car. This time, it's a manual: hence, all Mom can do is drive and shove the occasional paper into a tube. (Not that I ever ask her to help, anyway, but now she can't even reach out to stop papers from sliding off the dash.)
A little more than half-way through, there was a change. What's this? Sunshine...?
Yes, I got teary-eyed. Sunshine! And look! A patch of blue sky in the distance.
And then I turned around and realized the entire sky in that direction was pretty much all blue.
How I had missed it before, I don't know. As I said, "I was too busy looking at the gray; I didn't even notice the blue." Mom commented on how philosophical that was.
Yes, I suppose it is a bit philosophical, and strangely suitable. Just a few days ago, Dad posted this link on facebook. (Well, kind of. The thing he posted didn't actually have a link, but this is the same story. Google is amazing like like that.) To quote the story, "In a common-place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? If so, do we stop to appreciate it?"
I've noticed I tend to focus on the negative things in life. I'm more inclined to the pessimistic, glass-half-empty, guilty-until-proven-innocent perspective. Hence I no longer color outside the lines. I don't sing out loud in the middle of everyday life when other people are looking on. (Well, not normally. Sometimes my family will hear me burst into song.) I get lost in my own little world and the next thing I know, I'm whacking someone in the face as I put on my coat or I've failed to greet the visitors or I come off as a proud snot or awkward social outcast.
That's what this blog is about: enjoying my life by finding beauty in everything. But that hasn't come up a lot on here, has it? Most of the time I hurry along with my head down or my thoughts wandering. Too often I forget to pause, take a breath, look around, and smile. I miss the little things that make me smile and bring sunshine on the darkest days.
(Ironically, rain really makes me happy. I'm hoping for rain for my birthday.)
On Saturday:
I was up early for routes, as Heather had yet again gone to a friend's house. The moon, maybe three-quarters full, hung low in the sky. I'd forgot my glasses, so it wasn't very clear, but I could tell it was beautiful. The clouds had cleared and I could see the stars. The sunshine that appeared as we were finishing was breathtaking in it's simplicity.
Now the sky is a brilliant blue, with puffy clouds drifting along. It was a frosty morning, but now that the sun is well up (it's just past 11), there's birdsong.
I'm noticing all this because it's the first time any of this but the frost has occurred in at least a week. It's a change. And I've recently made an effort to become more aware of my surroundings. But how long will it take for me to drift back into life and ignore these little things that, for the moment, make me "feel all warm and fuzzy", and my youth pastor would say?
When it's not an appropriate time, will I make time - even three seconds - to pay attention?
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